Spoof: Small town teen commits big time crime


Olivia Couch

David City High School sophomore Renee Backstrom was spotted staring up at a tree just outside of the school. Upon following her gaze, there is what seems to be a kiwi perched on the branch leading us to believe the rumors of the smuggling are true.

Olivia Couch

Big things are happening in the tiny town of David City as no man, woman, child, or bird is safe. David City High School sophomore Renee Backstrom was recently spotted with a brown fluff resembling a kiwi that she carried around. Everyone knows of Backstrom’s obsession with the endangered New Zealand bird. The real question here is: Has she actually smuggled one, and if so, how did she manage to?

“Whenever someone mentioned fruit, especially kiwi, I noticed she began twitching,” sophomore Jackson Hardin said. “She’s been looking kind of shady, having crazed eyes, and looking around as if someone is watching her. The other day I touched her shoulder and she jumped about three feet in the air.”

Fellow students said they recall Backstrom’s reactions towards kiwis. Between the background on her phone, her large collection of stuffed animals, and several posters that currently hang in her room, it is a clear indication that she has an obsession. Could this be linked to the Omaha Henry Doorly Zoo’s new bird exhibit cancellation due to a certain missing bird?

Backstrom’s obsession dates back to the fifth grade when she was prompted to do a project on an endangered animal. Flipping through cards, she found the kiwi. Upon concluding the project, she decided it was an animal she didn’t want to give up on.

“I seriously love kiwis,” Backstrom said. “If I had one, I’d live with it, make sure it’d have the proper home outdoors, take professional pictures with it, and I’d name it Kevin.”

DCHS may never know if the smuggling rumors are true, but it would be quite the story to tell, wouldn’t it? Every student at DCHS will know exclusively of the one bird that is so close to Backstrom’s heart.

“I’ll always be interested in kiwis, and I plan on getting a tattoo of one,” Backstrom said. “The first time I came across a kiwi I thought, ‘this is unique’, and the rest is history.”